2009 WNBA Playoffs, Round 1, Game 3

Final score: Storm 64 – Sparks 75 (L) (1-2)

Submitted by LaurenRules

Officials: Denise “Beelzebub” Brooks, Kurt “Satan” Walker, and Roy “Lucifer” Gulbeyan. ‘Nuff said.

Anthem: Return of Caspian Coperly and his acoustic guitar. SO not my thing.

Player Intros: More tepid applause and boos during the LA intros. I love how they use the “Empire” music from Star Wars. We showed our cool Storm playoff video, featuring our Storm players in a (what else) rainstorm. Very nice. The handlers did a much better job with the ESPN banner. Heather Cox and Carolyn Peck (who is VERY tall) were prowling the sidelines, Heather decked in a black sheath dress that looked like it would be more at home in a classy waterfront restaurant. Maybe she was mourning the untimely death of our season. Oh, wait, did I type that? She has perfectly-arranged auburn hair and is INCREDIBLY thin. I wanted to buy her a sandwich.

First Quarter
JB sort of won the tip. Camille pulled up for a jumper. No go. Leslie whistled for a foul. HUGE applause. Man, the usual Key antagonism toward the Diva seemed to turn into outright hatred. Camille tried for a layup. Basket had a rim on it. DMJ got the rebound. Leslie pulled up for a jumper. No good. Mood in the arena was cautious, optimistic, fans still on our feet. T got the rebound and tried for a jumper. No good. DMJ got the rebound again. Thompson hit a three. Collective “unh!” sound in arena as 8,145 fans reacted. Thompson whistled for a kick ball. Scoreless interval. T, Swin and Camille each picked up their first fouls in under thirty seconds. No, that’s not a typo. No fouls on LA.

The Diva hit both of her free throws. LOUD booing. Swin hit a jumper. Explosion of relieved clapping. Everyone sat down. Suzy came in to a LOUD ovation. Thompson missed a jumper. T whistled for her SECOND foul. DMJ got a technical. T hit the free throw. LOUD clapping. Swin picked up HER second foul. The Diva hit both of HER free throws. Swin missed a jumper. I believe that was an LA hand I saw on her wrist? Oh, well, guess that didn’t count. T whistled for her THIRD foul. That wasn’t a foul, it was a rebound, you IDIOT. Hmmm. Our best defender picks up THREE fouls in the first FIVE MINUTES of a PLAYOFF GAME? Meanwhile, LA had ONE foul – on the Diva – and that’s IT. Prolonged booing.

T sat and Shannon came in. DMJ missed one, sank one. Camille drove to the basket, was knocked to the floor. Foul on Thompson. (Foul count: SIX Seattle, TWO LA). Camille hit her free throws. Parker knocked down a jumper. Quinn whistled for a foul. No shots falling for the Storm. Shot clock turnover. (Wince). Camille picked up her second foul. I could have SWORN that I saw DMJ do that EXACT MOVE a few seconds ago! Fans getting frustrated. Lots of boos. The Diva Jr hit one free throw, missed the other. Rebound SUE. Shannon turned the ball over. OUCH. Quinn hit a three. Double OUCH.

Our defense stiffened up, forcing bad shots and turnovers. Unfortunately, we just weren’t hitting our shots. One of those looked to be a foul that wasn’t called, but the others just weren’t falling. Sue headed to the line, after a Quinn foul, hit both of her shots. Thompson scored, Suzy BB whistled – that may have actually be a legit call – and TT hit the +1. 7-17 LA. Sue went on a mini-run, scoring on two jump shots. Leslie hit a jumper of her own and Janell whistled. That was NOT legit. (Foul count: NINE Seattle, THREE LA – I begin to see a pattern here). The Diva hit her +1. Fan mood restless, angry, unhappy.

CP hammered Swin, but Swin only hit one free throw. Missed shots. TT hammered Swin, but only one free throw again. Storm down by seven. Quarter ended with lots of missed shots on both sides, with a nice block from Camille. 13-20 LA.

Second Quarter
Nice start, with T picking Quinn’s pocket, but turning the ball over. Wince. Lennox made us pay with a HUGE three. Camille hit a turnaround jumper. Where’s HER foul call? Betty missed a three, Sue turned the ball over, Betty missed another three. Dodged a bullet. Phew. T tried to put up a layup, Leslie & co clubbed her to the ground, Swin snagged the rebound. Up and in. Still no calls. Storm within five. DMJ hit a three. Damn it! Camille hit a layup. Fans starting to get happy, loud, much cheering. Leslie turned the ball over. MORE cheering. Sue missed a layup, A-Rob snagged the rebound. Swin drove, Parker smacked and Swin put down both free throws. Shannon picked up her first foul. Leslie scored. Shannon picked up her SECOND foul. WTF? Lennox tossed the ball out of bounds. Swin’s shot “blocked” by Parker. Not clean. T’s shot blocked by Leslie. That was clean, at least from my angle. Good defense.

Sue whistled for her first foul. Tanisha whistled for an offensive foul – her FOURTH. Gah. Deeply frustrated fans. (Foul count: THIRTEEN Seattle, FIVE LA). Leslie tossed the ball out of bounds, was called on a foul a second later. Betty stole the ball from Sue, fed Parker for two. Suzy whistled for a foul. Parker hit the +1. LA up by ten. LA missed a bunch of shots, crashed the boards. Shannon whistled for her third foul. Three fouls in three minutes, twenty seconds. Interesting. (Appalling might be a better choice). Parker split the free throws. Suzy boxed out, missed a jumper. Parker hit a layup. Storm down by 13. Still plenty of time.

Now it got ugly. According to my sources, Agler and Sue wanted to call a 20-second timeout, but were told they needed to call a full. Okay, fine, whatever. Storm go back on the floor. All of a sudden, the IdiotsCorps were conferring. And conferring. And conferring some more. The Storm were restless. I was getting cold.

After prolonged conferring, the Morons-in-Gray announced they were assessing us a technical because we took too long of a timeout. Disbelief. Booing. More booing. Thompson hit the T. Of course. Plus, they gave possession back to the Sparks. MORE disbelief. More booing. Worse, a sick realization on the part of the fans (and, presumably, the players) that we weren’t going be ALLOWED to win this game. The refs had decided. They were going to grind us down, and miscall and blow their little toy whistles, until – game over.

I felt so sick, I had to sit down. I think my vision blurred. Part of me just wanted to go home, but there was no way I was going to leave while my girls were on the floor. If it was hard for me to watch, how much harder was it for them to play through it. Adding insult to injury, Shannon whistled for her FOUR foul (ridiculous) and Quinn hit both free throws. Suddenly, Storm down by 16.

Sue missed a three, and we had a shot clock turnover. DMJ whistled for traveling. Suzy picked up her third foul. Betty hit both free throws. DMJ picked up her FIRST foul with 1:54 to go in the half. In what strange, strange alternate reality do I live in, when two SHOOTING GUARDS have FOUR FOULS APIECE, yet the dirtiest SF in the entire league has ONE? (My head exploded). Swin hit both free throws. DMJ missed a three. Swin grabbed the rebound, but Camille turned the ball over. Swin had a nice block off of a Thompson shot, but the rebound was bobbled and Parker put it in. Storm now down by eighteen.

Janell tried to score, but was fouled, excuse me, “blocked” by Parker. Rebound that turned into a jump ball. Sue got it. Lennox mauled her and Sue put down two free throws. They missed some shots, and we were unable to score. 25-41 Storm.

Interval: Seahawks Drum Corps. Also, Shellie Hart, who can be a bit too hyper for me sometimes, forever endeared herself to me by walking around with a sign that said, “Beat LA and Refs.” I found a marketing person and gave them an earful about the horrible officiating, saying that if it’s already decided, why do we play? Poor person. I’m sure they think I’m a complete lunatic.

Third Quarter
Quinn scored. Missed shots, good rebounding from T and Sue. Leslie scored. Suzy put down a three! Swin scored. Five points within twenty seconds. Fans started breathing again, reminding ourselves and each other about Friday. We still had a whole half! We’re a good defensive team! Etc., etc. LA took a timeout. DMJ shot, missed, rebounded, shot, missed, rebounded. Scored. Camille couldn’t get inside, and Suzy’s lack of a vertical was killing her (and us). Sue missed a jumper. Camille called for a foul. That didn’t take long. Leslie hit a jumper. Swin hit a three!

Suzy had a very nice block on DMJ, which, for a wonder, wasn’t whistled for a foul. Swin grabbed the rebound, but Camille lost it out of bounds. DMJ scored. T scored. Quinn called on an offensive foul. Sue called on – TRAVELING?? Are you effing KIDDING ME? That was on the DRIBBLE, you IDIOTS!

Leslie missed a jumper, and Swin contested the rebound and WON THE JUMP BALL against Leslie (who is at LEAST four inches taller). I LOVE YOU, SWIN. Camille missed a layup. DMJ missed a jumper. Swin outjumped everyone else in the paint to get the rebound, but Suzy missed a three. Swin was leaving it all on the court, but she just couldn’t get any help. Heartbreaking. LA missed some shots. LL whistled for her fourth free throw. Suzy missed a jumper. Swin grabbed the rebound, but was whistled – for traveling. Okay, starting to get ridiculous. Quinn scored. Sue scored. Parker scored. Suzy picked up her fourth “foul.” Parker put down the +1. Sue answered with a three.

Thompson scored. DMJ stole the ball from her. Thompson and Parker scored. LA missed shots, Camille and T each had nice steals, but we just couldn’t convert. 40-60 Storm.

Fourth Quarter
Shannon turned the ball over. T picked up her fifth foul. Groan. LA not able to score. Parker hit Swin hard, Swin nailed her free throws. Thompson scored. T grabbed a rebound off of a Leslie missed and scored. Swin grabbed a rebound, but turned the ball over. Lennox hit a three. LA up by twenty-one. Sick feeling was back, but it was worse. More missed shots. Shannon picked up HER fifth foul. STUPID call, just STUPID. Our offense was too slow and deliberate for the situation – we needed fast breaks, run and gun to get the team and crowd back into it. Suzy hit a three. Harrower whistled for a foul. Suzy scored again. DMJ hit a three. Thud. That was the sound of the collective mood dropping through the floor. Camille hit a three. Shannon scored. Storm just down by fourteen, with about four minutes to go. Parker and Camille traded points.

Shannon fouled out, got a huge ovation from the fans, a hug and a kiss from Agler and hugs from the whole bench. SUCKY way to end a storied career, REFS. Just SUCKY. I’m looking at YOU, Kurt Walker!

Swin blocked Leslie’s shot, but we couldn’t hang onto the ball. Camille had it, DMJ wrenched it away, and Camille was called for the foul. Parker missed BOTH free throws. Leslie picked up her FIFTH foul. I’m sure I wasn’t the only Storm fan to PRAY she would foul out. Swin hit both free throws. Parker scored.

Swin and Camille both scored, Tanisha stealing the ball from Quinn very nicely. Storm just down by ten. Vague glimmerings of hope began to stir. We still had a minute! A couple of threes, maybe a foul, to tie it up! Oh… wait… that’s a whistle. And that is the thunk, thunk, thunk of the nail being driven into the coffin containing the rest of the Storm’s season. Swin with a “foul.” BS. Thompson hit her free throws. Sue scored. Just to make SURE, Camille was called for a foul. Parker hit her free throws. And that was that.

Notes
LA’s celebration was surprisingly restrained and NOT on our logo, THANK GOD.

I can only say, as a fan, we tried. Oh, God, did we try. But we just couldn’t overcome both LA and the refs. Every time we got something started, they blocked us. Fouls. Non-fouls. Jump balls. Dumb@ss technicals. It was painful to be in the same ROOM as those people. My disgust for the league knows no bounds at this point. Because it’s the LISA LESLIE FAREWELL TOUR, nothing else matters. What do they care if a great team with great role models gets screwed?

Sue was so tired by the end of the game, she could barely lift her hands above her shoulders. She came out early to an ovation and got a huge hug from LJ.

Refs soundly booed as they left the court. I turned my back on them.

The team came back out afterwards. Suzy was braced against Lauren’s shoulder. KB made a nice speech about how great we were. Most of us (including me) were crying. The expression on LJ’s face made my heart hurt.

Swin was a warrior. A double-double. 21 points, 10 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 blocks.

Great job girls. I'm so proud of you. Way to keep going and play your hearts out!

This is LaurenRules, signing off.